Surrounding Yourself with the Right People: A Reflection on Purpose and Growth
Reflecting on Beliefs and Boundaries
Last week I was working with a new client on her personal purpose. When I begin this work with someone new I share my personal purpose and talk about why certain elements resonate with me.
Often it generates conversation and last week was no exception. We spoke about one of my beliefs which is: you are a reflection of the people you choose to keep close
I explained what it meant to me and why it was in my purpose and we then went on to discuss how my client wanted to think about her beliefs.
Why is it important to surround yourself with the right people?
Thinking about this belief has stayed with me for a few days and has led me to reflect on the last 3 years which has resulted in a complete change of the people I choose to keep close.
A lot of those from my past haven’t made the cut and actually that feels fine in a way that I might not have thought it would before. Sometimes a significant life event happens and one of the worst things initially is feeling cut off from people that you were close to before. Now I can reflect on it with time having passed it seems like it was actually the best thing to come out of it. Being free from people who no longer fit with your values and ethics can only be liberating. Focus on those around you who show up and give you their time willingly. Those are the ones you want to keep very close.
As I watched Keir Starmer resign yesterday it seems to me that he might be about to go through a very similar exercise. People he thought he could rely on let him down badly. The ones to watch for are the ones who turn up now offering genuine support and care.
Lessons from Psychology: Unconditional Positive Regard
Last year I began a transformational coaching course to really focus on my coaching style and to learn some new skills. Early on we were introduced to the work of the psychologist Carl Rogers. He introduced the concept that clients should be held in “unconditional positive regard”. This is important as it means as coaches we accept, respect and value or clients without any judgement. It gives our clients space to explore their thoughts without fear of criticism or rejection.
Auditing Your Tribe for Future Wellbeing
This phrase was very helpful to me in my coaching work but also in the way that I started to think about the people around me. The people I wanted to keep close.
In a way this feels like it should be the minimum standard but for a lot of reasons often it isn’t. A bit of social editing feels harder to achieve than it should.
If you are working in a senior role within an organisation or if you are working alone as a consultant or in lots of other roles your work can sometimes feel lonely. So your inner circle, or your tribe or your community, however you want to describe them have a powerful role to play in your day to day and future wellbeing.
So look around, are you surrounded by people who will help you grow, who will encourage you to think differently and if not maybe it is time for an audit.
If you would like to talk about personal purpose or how to audit your own inner circle please feel free to get in touch.
Find a quiet place where you can go to do some thinking. This is a favourite spot of mine.
Next Steps
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